Monday, March 29, 2010

These are the ABC's


watching the Tyra show about transgender children, when we socialize kids at such a young age & they don't agree with their gender from the start how far would you take this issue? I mean when adults have lived out years of their natural gender for most of their lives I believe that even some of them are still confused after their medical and emotional changes of gender. Is it really okay for a parent to make these kind of single self decisions of gender for their children so early on?


In the case of the little girl Kennedy who wants to be a boy you can hear the naive innocence of child in her responses and that's okay, but the bothersome part of her story is the reason why her mother decided to socialize her as a boy. Kennedy would kick, bite, and throw tantrums if put in a dress or be made to look, do or act "girly". Although I'm sure there are deeper levels to this surface it's just a little troublesome to swallow when you shift genders simply because you felt "pushed" by your child. I know she said the process for her to accept Kennedy as a boy was slow, but pace is not my issue here the issue is so what? So what if Kennedy doesn't like dresses, prefers guns and wrestling to my little princess and barbies. If Kennedy wants to say she's a boy is it okay to let her address herself as a boy? If you go along with the dictation of your child when do you actually start to parent? It just kind of seems like she's being bossed around by her kid, bribing and pleading with Kennedy to agree with her until she just threw in the white towel and let Kennedy call the shots.


When adults go through this decision of changing gender there's a system to help guide them into a decision they wont wake up and say "oh shit, nevermind". Although I do believe on some level that children hold such a true perspective of the world that still doesn't warrant them the full capability of making such grand decisions of gender change. My personal opinion about sexuality is that nothing is normal, with that said there are also things that just aren't up for questioning and those things are sexual organs. If you were born with a vagina you are going to be called a woman that's just not hypothetical it's set, it's there and we understand the difference. Transgender children, like a girl for example should understand their body parts and be explained why for the moment they have to deal with being woman-- periods, different sensitive body parts than male.. As much as you may try to dress your girl up as a boy she will develop into a woman and as a parent you need to draw a line and tell your child to wait.. Wait to grow up, let time go by maybe your child will grow up & understand that this identity that used to be transgender isn't the case and instead identify as being gay there are different ways this could go but you can't jump this start a premature feeling so early on let them grow up and with time they will have a mind set that will help them distinguish or just re-affirm their feelings. But I don't think it's right to accept transgender children, because their children! Transgender adults are a topic totally different, this is a decision as adults they have come to and have gone through years to understand themselves and know that their change is what's right for them this is their decision as an ADULT.


As a parent I believe that letting your child play with a doll if he's a boy is okay as well letting your little girl wear a "boy's" shirt but going out and changing your son or daughters name, going to the school and asking to help reassign your child's gender is really going too far. Transgender is a decision that should be taken to that next step as an adult not as a child. It's hard to distinguish the authenticity when you're child isn't even done with learning the ABC's.

1 comment:

  1. There was a lot more to it, it's just on tv they want a highlight not a two hour long drama of our life! Find my blog mykennedysstory.blogspot.com to really find out more thanks!!

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