BABY MANIA

Here are the waves I've gone through

1. Joy. I'm going to finally have a baby in the family-- finally a baby that I will have a chance to bond, babysit, love, show off, spoil, share with, that is going to be around and not just once a year.. I will get to see them grow up and be a part of their life
2. Let down. So it's not okay for me to throw you a party? because it's your baby and you want to be a control freak? well--- I never thought I was trying to steal your baby, but it's just a party?! How did I manage to step on your toes? If this is bad--- what are you going to be like when the baby gets here?!
3. Panic. I'm never going to see this child! The whole reason I was so happy is on the chopping bloc and wont ever come to realize. Your ruining this beautiful relationship already and the baby isn't even born!
4. Anger. Well if you are going to be like that then fuck you and you can stick it all up your tightly wound up ass. I'm not going to your stupid baby shower and I wont talk to you or my brother.
5. Coming to terms. Well if I can't do anything about you then let me try to salvage the relationship with my brother. Oh my brother is an idiot. Yeah, I forgot about that one.
6. Indifference. You want me to go to your baby shower? OK. My brother doesn't call me? OK. I don't ever see you? OK. I'm not around anymore? OK. You know what? I don't care. 

Indifference. that's where it ends. I cared about this soooo much that I can't muster up enough care about it anymore. I'm disappointed more than angry and I'm hurt more than disappointed.