crystalized

I started on a road I felt so sure about with people I would bet my pulse on. My tank inside was full in hopes and dreams but it was empty on ambition. I didn't really want to work on things, I just expected the success as much, every time the pit grew deeper & deeper, it seems like it would be a sort of ying & yang effect. You can't have the bad without the goods and my expectations were bigger when the worse felt worse. My common sense was well hidden behind my sanguine expectations.

Best Friends that didn't give a damn about me, Love that just wasn't that at all, days that I could have lived without. 

I don't know why I ever felt so optimistic at all. The things that were done then have taken so long to tread through now. The decisions, the outcomes, the healing, the repairing---- the reconstruction. 

Why looking back everything seems so strange to me. I'm a different person, I don't know why I was so easily influenced. 

this road now seems so different than it was back then. I look back every once and a while and things seem a little clearer, I get the light to shed itself on some places and I can't believe how long it's been and how much it feels like just yesterday.....