she's a queen

i wish i was a clairvoyant like chip coffee *sigh*

I want your everything as long as it's free

So I've adopted a little mini pincher and her name is Lucy <3

Times a' changin'

so a whirlwind of events have taken place from the moment I laid down those moving boxes on my new hard wood floors to the moment I sent my first check for the month's rent.

I was let go from PH (the source of my wealth) but I quickly went scouting and although I did not land a server gig I did however find this small ever so gentle gem of a work place. The faces are friendly the work is light the pay check is steady what's a girl to complain about? oh yeah. taxes.

see as a server you don't get hit with taxes so often and if you do it's taken away from you before you even feel it beneath your hands much as the feeling pay checks give you. I know a girl shouldn't complain especially under these circumstances but come on I feel not as whole and I know it's a risky move but I'm looking for a better cash out a larger scale... a restaurant perhaps with lots happening and heavy tippers.

I feel like a stripper.

but it's game in the name of $$

my troubles are this:

a party on hallow's eve with much anticipated booze, food and cheer. I need dinero so I could foot the bill. I need to look sharp, I need to buy food, I need to pay some heavy bills.

I need I need I need. the vocabulary of a city girl with some money blues.

ugh..

a few thousand dollers later

All moved in, it's definitely an exciting feeling to have something to call your own.
Something that reads out loud your name.

mmhmm.
this feeling will stay withe me forever.

new apartment new vacation time new me

I'm in constant planning for the next before the first next even happens and this is a true example of what I do. My parents moved me from a comfortable corner next to the living room where my bed was to this annoying hallway (because thats what it actually is) next to the kitchen with no air conditioner and a thin curtain between the door and me. From the moment I came home after working a double shift I slammed my bags on the floor dragged myself to the living room and complained to my dad who thought this was a great idea... During this time I was paying my student loans, bills, etc. the next day I started talking numbers to myself and realizing slowly that I can actually do what I've been dying to do for so long... live by myself alone in an apartment with of course my boyfriend and a few weeks later thats exactly where my wheels are turning. I'm waiting to get approved by a board for a building I'm prepared to move into and as we speak I've bought my plane tickets for me and Phil to Guatemala for christmas. I'm already thinking about a house warming party and going to Kate's Papier for invitations and where to register for gifts... I'm thinking about commissioning a student interior decorator to furnish my apartment and I have a dear friend who managed a furniture store for like 5 years whose already offered to help go bargain shopping at furniture auctions.



I am extremely nervous, excited, and motivated.

excuse me miss

I am so glad that there is no one holding on to my coat tails dragging themselves trying to get ahead through me. An episode of my life eludes me. I have went through hate and anger and the residue are dabs instead of wads but thats okay with me for right now. I don't like bringing stupid shit up but it seems to run out of my mouth from time to time. Although as internet creeps that we've all adopted within ourselves none of us can help but dig and laugh at the unfortunate that have never sat well with us. I feel bad for feeling good but thats the merry go 'round isn't it? It can be my over analytical treasure skill or just my amateur hating skills but these girls are sitting ducks with their own hands on the trigger. I don't sabotage, vindicate or go out of my way to "help" anyone for that matter I've learned from a very telling song that people will gladly do that to themselves if you just sit and wait and it's been truthful to date.

I recently met someone who just kept waving her red flags around and as sad as her sob stories were and as much as I hope her all the best I gave her a wrong number because she said she wanted to keep in touch so I rearranged two numbers around when I gave it to her. To me I dodged a bullet after petting it. Age and Love have taught me to be cordial and witty and although I may not say goodbye in the most politically correct way I don't give reasons to hate me and ignore the cliff people are backing into if they're ignoring it themselves.

Some things just don't seem to be worth risking my name or my energy. I just don't like people that ask too much of me I've noticed a pattern in the friends I keep they're all people I can admire in one way or another and are my peers not my successors and not sad cases with no luck. Being alone without a best friend for such a long time has given me good traits now that I do find myself with someone I can call a best friend I'm not as dependent as before and I've realized she is such a positive person that shares these values.

I'm not going to say that it's a good thing some thing's never change in some people because it's their demise but it just is what it is as much as I want to reach out and hold my hand out for them in some ways it's already what I'm doing but they've turned the lights out in their own tunnel and as I've mentioned before I will turn the other way if you're already faced the other way. There's no point in leading a horse to water if it doesn't want to drink it.

tomorrow I'm hosting either a bbq or a small dinner party depending on the weather for Philip's 2 cousins that are his actual 1st cousins. I'm hoping for the best.