Deuces

Nothing to do now but move on without you.

BABY MANIA

Here are the waves I've gone through

1. Joy. I'm going to finally have a baby in the family-- finally a baby that I will have a chance to bond, babysit, love, show off, spoil, share with, that is going to be around and not just once a year.. I will get to see them grow up and be a part of their life
2. Let down. So it's not okay for me to throw you a party? because it's your baby and you want to be a control freak? well--- I never thought I was trying to steal your baby, but it's just a party?! How did I manage to step on your toes? If this is bad--- what are you going to be like when the baby gets here?!
3. Panic. I'm never going to see this child! The whole reason I was so happy is on the chopping bloc and wont ever come to realize. Your ruining this beautiful relationship already and the baby isn't even born!
4. Anger. Well if you are going to be like that then fuck you and you can stick it all up your tightly wound up ass. I'm not going to your stupid baby shower and I wont talk to you or my brother.
5. Coming to terms. Well if I can't do anything about you then let me try to salvage the relationship with my brother. Oh my brother is an idiot. Yeah, I forgot about that one.
6. Indifference. You want me to go to your baby shower? OK. My brother doesn't call me? OK. I don't ever see you? OK. I'm not around anymore? OK. You know what? I don't care. 

Indifference. that's where it ends. I cared about this soooo much that I can't muster up enough care about it anymore. I'm disappointed more than angry and I'm hurt more than disappointed.

In your 20's

1. Take advantage of that open bar…

2. There are going to be good and bad people wherever you go. You can’t run forever.

3. Imagining your life as a sit-com makes 98% of bad situations better. Some days just f-cking suck. So pretend it’s Christmas.

4. Set your expectations low and your standards high (especially on dating). 

5. Seeing and admitting your flaws is important. Mine? Extreme fickleness, uncontrollable anxiety, being overambitious and too self-critical, talking bullsh-t, overcommitment, blah blah blah. But self-reflection is key for personal change. What are yours?

6. If someone cares about you, they’ll make time for you. If they don’t, then they won’t. But with that said, no one can make time for you all the time. 

7. Club Monaco dresses and Chanel makeup are not good reasons to be broke. But plane tickets, traveling, and new experiences are. 

8. Knowing when and how to sound like a pretentious asshole is useful. But so is knowing your place.

9. There’s a huge difference between loving someone and being in love. And having a tumultuous and volatile love life is really not something to be proud of, although it can be fun at times…

10. If you’re going to give, then just give. Don’t expect anything in return.

11. Alone time is crucial. Dates with yourself are the best. Go sit at your favorite café for another hour. Have that bubble bath. Take the long way home.

12. Karma is very, very real.

13. Listen to advice, even if you don’t like it or it sounds ridiculous to you. (ex. “You should really try a yoga class.” “Are you kidding me…” Well, today, I tried a yoga class. And I liked it.)

14. Not everyone is going to like you. And that is perfectly okay.

15. Killing with kindness is approximately 99% more effective than being a bitch.

16. Being happy doesn’t mean never being sad.

17. The more people you know, the better. Keep meeting strangers and talking.

18. Every single person has a story. Every single person can teach you something new about something you know nothing about. And every single person can teach you something new about yourself. You just have to be open to it.

19. If you want to go to somewhere, then go. Be reasonable, and be smart. But the longer you think about it, and the longer you hold back, the more you are going to hate everyone around you, including yourself. You can’t wait for things to happen. 

20. You really cannot change people, no matter how hard you try. 

21. But you can change yourself